Today my Italian teacher suggested that George Clooney and Giorgio Armani were having secret romantic trysts in Lake Como. “George Clooney,” she sighed, in her (delectable) Italian accent, “and Giorgio Armani.” She twisted two fingers around each other. “In Italy we do this, to mean... together.”
Whoa, whoa, I thought, what’s this? A Clooney scoop? Is it well-known in his Italian neighbourhood that he’s gay? Is the rest of the world embracing a lie?
Perhaps we are. Perhaps Lake Como is where the stars go to hide their dirty laundry, safe in the tranquility of the gently lapping waters, far from the prying eyes of the city. Matt Bellamy lives there, doesn’t he? He must have a secret too. He’s probably not really human at all but some form of advanced alien. That would explain a lot – the preoccupation with supermassive black holes, the strange avian pointy-ness, the ability to dance in perfect little circles while playing Time is Running Out.
Or maybe he’s just gay as well, and has sexy threesomes with Giorgio C and Giorgio A. Who knows?
Later on in the class, the director of the Italian Cultural Institute came in for a few minutes to tell us about the upcoming European Film Fest and urge us to attend. I’ve met him a few times before and found him to be a reasonably pleasant man, maybe 50-ish, with a slightly creepy smile (but then it seems I think everyone has a slightly creepy smile). Unfortunately, he is staggeringly long-winded, especially since his English is rather lacking, and he often spends an excruciatingly long time hemming and hawing in search of the exact word he wants.
“Please go to the fest, all of you, please,” he begged us, “if not I will... cry.” Some of us giggled, and feeling encouraged, he continued. “It is funny and also it is sad, because they do not always think that culture is important... in Singapore... they spend so much on the buildings of the concrete," and he mimed constructing a skyscraper, "but they neglect... the buildings of the soul.” And he patted his heart.
More chuckles. He grinned and went on. “I think that we work like the...” Flapped arms up and down. “The albatross. Yes, the albatross... We fly and fly... over the sea... and the people look to the albatross for to see... where to go. Flying and flying... albatross. No?”
The girl next to me whispered loudly in the confused silence that followed: What is he talking about? The director ignored her.
“Yes. Thank you. I am very proud of your accomplishments, all of you. Thank you. You are all beautiful people.” Then he shuffled out.
Last time I spoke to him, he was lamenting not being able to find a place to rent here in Singapore. He's been looking for a few months now, to no avail. But I suspect that he's a bit too fussy. Sometimes an albatross has gotta quit flying and build a nest where he can, even if it's in a building of the concrete.
8 comments:
my aunt is buying a house at lake como
Ehh. Does she have a dark secret too? I wish her happy celeb-gazing!
HAHA i don't know. she calls her realtor over there all the time asking about property lol. she's just going for the Clooney.
Wait, how old is that Italian director guy?
Not old enough.
"the ability to dance in perfect little circles while playing Time is Running Out."
crop circles, my human friend.
I would pay damn good money to see someone dance in the shape of a crop circle. While playing Time is Running Out.
Damn. He sounded old enough.
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